Lincoln Lawyer ~ the McConaughey Man-crush continues.

Have you ever wondered what a defense lawyer would do if they found out their client really is guilty of the crimes they are accused of? Would they put the “sleazy” back into the “sleazy lawyer” or would they have a conscience? 

Well Mick Haller (Matthew McConaughey), finds himself right there. Mick is a defense lawyer working out of his Lincoln Continental. His ex and mother of his child Maggie McPherson (Marisa Tomei) is a District Attorney, which makes the sexual tension a great part of the movie. His client Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe) is young, rich, good looking, and guilty as hell. To make matters worse, he’s guilty of killing a prostitute a few years ago who is connected to Mick. Mick had represented the man accused of killing the woman, and he talked the man into taking a plea deal. The deal put the man away for life with a hopeful pardon in 15 years. Now Mick is screwed. He has to represent this killer in his latest rape attempt.

Rich boy Louis has it all figured out. He has Mick stuck in the lawyer-client privilege and he knows it. He also has a plan to make the girl he attacked look as if she is setting “him” up for the crime. When Frank Levin (William H. Macy), Mick’s best friend and private investigator turns up dead, Mick realizes Louis will not stop. To make matters worse, Ted Minton (Josh Lucas) is a brand new District Attorney representing the state, and isn’t skilled enough to win against Mick. He can’t tell anyone without losing his license and his job.

This is another enjoyable movie for McConaughey, and with Marissa Tomei, it just gets better. The relationship their characters have is enjoyable. Trace Adkins appears as the leader of a biker gang, and Mick’s streetwise sense really brought the movie home for me. I enjoyed it a lot. It’s more of a guy movie than gal (if you can really classify it that way anymore) but my wife did enjoy it as well, just not as much as I did.

Looking for a surprise hit for DVD night, bring home the Lincoln Lawyer. 

Life as we know it ~ and they'll be fine.

Holly Berenson (Katherine Heigl) and Eric Messer (Josh Duhamel) love their best friends Peter and Allison. So much that they became godparents to Peter and Allison’s daughter, Sophie, whom they absolutely love. There’s only one issue. Holly and Eric can’t stand each other.

Holly is the successful business owner/chef who has her eyes set on Dr. Sam (Josh Lucas), loves being organized, and Messer is the eligible bachelor working as a technical director for a television sports station, loving the life of one night stands, basketball, and motorcycles. For the most part they tolerate each other when in the company of Peter and Allison.

When Peter and Allison are killed in an accident, Holly and Messer find out they have been named as guardians of Sophie. Two single people, who hate each other, thrown together to try and cobble a life and take care of Sophie. Sounds easy don’t it?

This movie was a surprisingly non-typical movie to watch. You had a feeling that eventually at the end the two would fall in love, that there would be a grand fight, one would leave, they would realize they were in love, and the happy ending ensues. You’d also be right! I liked the twist of the pair not being at each other’s throats constantly then having the epiphany which is typical of movies like this. Instead, their movement towards a relationship was a believable one as was their fight and separation.

The movie made my wife cry, and parents will have the sympathetic moments. Dr. Sam who steps in when Messer leaves is not a character you hate and want ousted, in fact you could see the movie continuing with him or Messer being a good choice for an ending.

If you’re looking for a feel-good romance with some fun moments, pick it up from the DVD rental store.   

Thor ~ not so much thunder, but a backstory for the Avengers

In order to introduce the Avengers, we have seen the aspiring single movies for the individual members. The Hulk, Ironman, Captain America, and Thor, with some thrown in supporting roles like Black Widow (from Ironman 2) and Hawkeye (from Thor) we see the forming of the team that will grace the movie screen.

Thor, the God of Thunder (Chris Hemsworth) is the heir to the throne of Asgard. Asgard is the core of the nine realms, yada yada yada, nothing you really need to know when the Avengers come out, but to make a long comic book short, it’s where the protectors of the Universe live. Thor is a cocky, self-absorbed dude who only wants to fight for glory, machismo, and whatever motivated all of those large Viking-types back in the day to fight for. When these beings first came to Earth to defend us against the frost giants, they were taken for gods and thus named. The Asgardians repelled the giants and sent them back into their own realm.

Odin (Anthony Hopkins), Thor’s father, took the source of the frost giant’s power, the casket  and a young frost giant baby, which turns out to be Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who is raised as Thor’s brother and potential heir to the Asgardian throne. Loki is the God of Mischief, and boy does he ever live up to his name.

Thor takes a small team to the frost giant realm to kick some butt in retaliation for a sneak attack on Asgard. Odin gets ticked off and banishes Thor to Midgard (Earth) and forbids Thor from wielding his mystical hammer, Mjölnir which is his source of power and basically the only thing that makes Thor a superhero.  While human, Thor falls in love with Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), a scientist investigating the abnormal things that happen when Asgard connects to Earth through the Rainbow Bridge. I swear, I’m not making it up. It’s in the comic book.

Thor can’t wield his hammer until he stops being a jerk and learns how to be a better Asgardian. Turns out, this was all planned by Loki who is now taking over Asgard, and Thor’s team comes to Earth to help get Thor back.

The battle scenes and special effects are done pretty well. My favorite character is the Heimdall (Idris Elba) the guardian of the Rainbow Bridge, who basically sees everything in the universe at all times and opens and closes the connection from Asgard to the other realms. The battle in the Frost Giant realm is well done but very dark and hard to decipher what’s going on at time. As with some of the other battles, there is too much spark, and fiery flashing to see if the actors had any real fighting skills, but it’s enjoyable.

The movie itself is a bit slow in parts and very “background boring” as they try to establish who and what Thor is, and how he will figure into “The Avengers” later on. There’s a Thor 2 already in the works, so look for more establishment and joining of the Avengers.  Now that it’s on DVD, go ahead and check it out, I have a feeling you’re going to need it once the Avengers movies kick in.

Real Steel ~ Rock’em Sock’em Robots for grownups!

Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman) is a boxer in a future where boxing isn't enough to feed the appetite for violence, so the world turns to robot fighting. Charlie hasn't had much luck trying to win fights with his robots. Charlie hasn't had much luck in love with Bailey Tallet (Evangeline Lilly), the daughter of his boxing coach. Charlie hasn't had much luck in his life, when he finds out an ex-girlfriend has died leaving him the next of kin to his eleven year old son Max (Dakota Goyo), whom he’s never met.

Losing his robot in a fight to a bull, Charlie needs his luck to change, so when he sees an opportunity to get some money by selling the custody of Max to Max’s aunt, he jumps at the chance. What’s the only catch? He has to keep Max around until October. Max is a smart kid, he knows what’s happening, but he wants to be part of his father’s world and the world of robot boxing.

The two happen across “Atom”, an outdated sparring robot with unique skills, while searching a junkyard in the middle of the night for spare parts. With nothing left to lose, they power him up and begin an incredible “Rocky Balboa” rise to stardom, robot style.

This movie is actually a blend of “Rocky” and “Over the top” plots. Crappy dad meets kid. Kid hates dad but is interested in what dad does. Dad and kid start bonding during “on the road” experiences. Dad realizes kids is awesome, kid forgives dad, they hug, they smooze, and the plan the sequel.  

It was a very fun movie which made the crowd cheer as Atom the robot started kicking some steel butts. I’m glad they didn’t give the robot “feelings” and try to make it seem to be “turning human.” Jackman nailed the part of self-absorbed dad who comes to the realization that his priorities need an overhaul. The ending of the movie set up a sequel, so look for more robot shenanigans in the future.

Go see it, take the kids, the wife, the husband, the neighbor, hell… give me a call, I’ll go see it again with ya.

Andromeda Strain ~ 1971 ... A strain to watch.

 

Everyone in Piedmont, Arizona, is dead. A secret military satellite called “scoop” has fallen to Earth, and like your typical red-neck town, they opened it.  The military calls in Dr. Jeremy Stone (Arthur Hill), Dr. Charles Dutton (David Wayne), Dr. Mark Hall (James Olson), and Dr. Ruth Leavitt (Kate Reid), or “Wildfire,” the government-sponsored team that counters extraterrestrial biological infestation. As if it happens nearly monthly.

The whole premise of the movie is that the government launched “scoop” to essentially scoop particles out of space to see if they may be used as a weapon against the United States’ enemies. In order to find one, a very elaborate underground testing facility was built with a nuclear reactor at its core. If something goes wrong with the test….. "BOOM!”

The Wildfire team studies what killed the town, and why the two survivors (a baby and the town crazy) of the town lived. Dr. Hall is the "odd man", since he is the only one without a spouse, and is given a red key, the only thing that can stop the nuke from blowing up. (The "odd man hypothesis" states that unmarried men are capable of carrying out the best, most dispassionate decisions during crisis).

Back in the 70’s, I’m sure this movie was considered high-tech, but post Star Wars, not so much. It takes 15 hours to descend the 5 floors of the testing facility and the four scientists go through a rigorous and mildly amusing sanitation process to get there to actually start to study the “Andromeda Strain” as it becomes entitled.

The Andromeda strain causes death buy causing blood to clot and dry to sand instantaneously. As it turns out, it’s not a virus, but a crystal-like, extraterrestrial microbe on a meteor that crashed into the satellite, knocking it from orbit. Not only does the microbe cause instant clotting, but it also mutates to eat plastic and skin. As you can imagine, Andromeda eventually mutates to corrode the seals of the secret base and begins contaminating it, and get this, nuclear energy causes it to grow. Of course, all the alarms go off, the base goes into “blow up mode” and there’s a dramatic attempt to stop the bomb from causing Andromeda to multiply and destroy the world. The world is saved when Andromeda eventually mutates to a harmless form and floats out into the atmosphere.

I reviewed this movie when I was told that movies like Contagion and Outbreak were sired from this “breakthrough” movie. Well…. Not so much, but you can see where they got the idea from it. This movie is basically the four scientists meandering around the secret lab, old monochrome computer monitors, binary code, bad TV angles, with echoed voices, and very dramatic animal death scenes. (I did not see a warning saying animals were not harmed… hmmmm?)

If you’re into classic old films, you may like it, but if you’re expecting dramatic special effects and good acting, you may want to leave this movie in the past. I can at least say I’ve seen it. It was also made into a TV series in 2008. I’ll let you know if it got any better.

Moneyball ~ You don't have to like baseball to like the movie

This movie was fun, funny, exciting (if you’re like me and didn’t know or remember the true story), and very riveting. I found myself actually rooting for the Oakland A’s to win. How many movies do you know of can make you tense about games that have already been played, decided, and in the history books? Brad Pitt plays a very Robert Redford-like role. At times I actually thought it might be Redford on screen. His interactions with his movie daughter Casey (Kerris Dorsey) were cute.

In the world of baseball, teams like the Oakland Athletics cannot compete financially with teams who can offer more money to players like the New York Yankees. What usually happens is that teams with less budget money develop players, make them great players, and then can’t afford them by the end of the season, so teams with more money can buy them up.

This guts the team each year. Call it fair or unfair, but it’s what Billy Beane (Brad Pitt), General Manager of the Oakland A’s has to live with every year, no matter how well the team finishes. Each year he begs for more money, to keep his players, or at least get completive new ones, and each year he’s told to do more with less. Billy stumbles across Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) while trying to make a trade with the Cleveland Indians.

Peter is an economist. He’s underappreciated, and usually ignored. Peter believes in Saber metrics. This is the analysis of baseball through objective evidence (like baseball statistics) rather than the “gut” feelings like scouts have been using for years. By measuring how many time the player gets on base, rather than how popular the player is, they figure out than many players who aren’t as well “liked” are cheaper, yet produce more collectively than a star player.

This ideas upsets the world of baseball, especially Art Howe (Philip Seymour Hoffman), the Oakland A’s manager who thwarts Billy’s new concept by playing the players he wants to and screw the GM and his new system. Eventually through shrewdness, Billy gets Art to come around and the A’s go on to win 20 straight games. This isn’t a spoiler, its baseball history! J

Even if you’re not into baseball, this story of how facts win out over bias will make you smile. It's worth a watch in the theater.

Skyline ~ Great Effects, Plot...not so much.

Come to Los Angeles, enjoy the sights, celebrate Terry’s (Donald Faison) birthday. Meet his wife Candace (Brittany Daniel), and assistant Denise (Crystal Reed). It just might be a hell of a good time for Jarrod (Eric Balfour) and his pregnant girlfriend Elaine (Scottie Thompson). Shhh… Terry is having an affair with Denise, but they won’t get to enjoy it long, hopefully Candace won’t find out…um… what’s with this super bright light over the city? Ahhhhhhh… well… the movie is something like that.

They aliens have come to LA to harvest humans for their brains. Man did they go to the wrong place. The special effects in this movie are tremendous, even if the plot is not. If you’re like me, whenever you watch a survival movie like this, you imagine what you would do if it were happening to you. Like I imagine for you as well, the actors do things totally different than what would make sense to you. Seriously… if we’re going to “sneak” out of town, the choice of the loud convertible sports car during broad daylight with gigantic alien patrolmen would be lower on the “possibilities” list.

When the overly macho building security man Oliver (David Zayas), saves the day, then becomes an arrogant, bossy, jerk, it’s time to leave him before he turns into the psycho we all know he will be, but no, we need to stay in the building that the aliens have seen us run into, and the women never stop screaming which, by the way, attracts the attention of the brain suckers, so by all means keep doing it. So basically, they stay in the building, waiting to be rescued and arguing amongst them until they are all eventually picked off one by one.

At least in this movie, the human defenses are good enough to put up a fight, not win, but we do some heavy damage and there are some Independence Day type dogfights and for the first time, the nuke actually works…. Kind of. The ending of the movie is a cliff hanger. If they would have spent less time wasting the movie with the hiding in the building, moved the ending to the middle, and continued with that, the movie may have been saved.  Nothing like seeing something very cool at the end of a bad movie and thinking, “Why didn’t you do that earlier?”

It’s worth a rent, and a long laugh afterwards on all the holes in the storyline, and like other movies of this type, it has hours of conversation value as you ask your friends what they would do in the actor’s place. At the end of the movie, you’ll have to ask yourself a question. Are you a blue brain… or a red brain?

Something Borrowed ~ worth borrowing

Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Darcy (Kate Hudson) have been friends since childhood. They’ve shared everything, thick or thin, they’ve been there for each other until Rachel went to law school and met Dex.  Dex (Colin Egglesfield) is a dreamy guy who seems too good to be true. Rachel and Dex hit it off and quickly go down the path of a blossoming romance, well at least that’s what Dex thought, but Rachel cannot get over one thing, she’s a door mat. Rachel’s lack of self-esteem allows her true-love to fall through her fingertips and into the lap of her best friend Darcy, a self-centered girl use to getting her own way.  

Now, ten years later, Darcy and Dex are set to be married and Rachel finds herself a little too tipsy at her surprise birthday party thrown by Darcy. The old sparks ignite and Rachel wakes up with her best friend’s fiancé, Dex, in her bed. Romance and loyalty collide as she finds out Dex has always loved her, but felt Rachel was setting him up with Darcy those many years back. The two try to make sense of their rekindled passion as Darcy, stuck in her own world, plans her wedding oblivious of what’s going on. Ethan (John Krasinski), a lifelong friend of Rachel and Darcy, tries to provide guidance to a confused Rachel.

I felt this movie was funny and it scored well on the wife ”mushiness meter.” As with a lot of movies about missed romantic opportunities and hidden feelings, there are many cute moments and times when you as the audience get frustrated with “just tell the damn truth” but that would kill the movies vibe. Ethan, the friend from childhood really steals the show and I thoroughly enjoyed his part, even with the inevitable revelation that he has always been in love with one of the two women. (I aint gonna tell!)

The only problem I had with the movie is how they portray Dex, the confused fiancé who has always been in love with Rachel, and is only having the wedding to keep his parents happy. For I guy who is realizing his long lost Rachel actually loved him back, he’s awfully comfortable in playing the happy fiancé with Darcy, even in front of Rachel. He becomes the typical scum-bag guy cheating on his fiancé making stupid mistakes and acting desperate at times to not get caught.

The ending (yes it’s a strange, yet happy one) seems a little too convent a way to make the now unloyal life-long best friend seem less of a heel by sleeping with Dex. It seems like the director tried too hard to make everyone at the end of the movie not such a bad person for all of their misdeeds, and to me it didn’t work. I don’t know if the book it is based on had the same ending, but it would have been a “downer” if it was.  

All that being said, it is a good movie to watch with your significant other and will create some good discussion on your next night out with other couples, so go rent it! 

Bucky Larson, born to be a star. AKA Adam Sandler's little man.

Bucky Larson can be summed up in two words: Adam Sandler. After all, he is one of the writers. If you’re a fan of Sandler humor like Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Little Nicky, etc., you’ll notice a similar vibe to this movie. Bucky Larson (Nick Swardson) is an Iowa boy of limited intelligence who is happy in his small town life as a grocery bagger until he gets fired. He discovers that his parents were popular pornstars in the 70s, when acting was optional and shaving was rare. Taking this as a sign of his destiny, he heads to Los Angeles to make nude movies.

Here Bucky meets Kathy McGee (Christina Ricci), a waitress in a dive diner that would make Mel’s Diner look like trendy bistro. As in most Sandler type films, the ultra-hot, yet damaged girl takes a shine to the raw honesty and kindness of the court jester who never really seems to understand nearly everyone in the movie is making fun of him.

After being humiliated by Dick Shadow (Stephen Dorff), the current porn industry’s top dog, Bucky is taken on by Miles Deep (Don Johnson) who is down on his luck and trying to take advantage of Bucky’s parents’ fame. Bucky becomes a success due to the “smallness” of his “character.” In comparison, women everywhere are becoming satisfied with their significant other’s “character,” which makes the men happy.

Following the Sandler checklist, Bucky becomes a success until those who are taking advantage of him, realize they are being bad people, and decide to spare Bucky the life of torment as the living joke. Hot girl and joker ride off into the happy sunset.

Besides the constant “dick joke” theme, and the “it’s ok to make fun of people who are too dumb to know they’re being made fun of” lines, the best reason to see this movie, if you have to, is to see Christina Ricci and maybe a few of your favorite porn stars, though most are clothed. Technically I think boobs were flashed only twice, so if you think a porn-themed comedy would have lots of nudity, you’ll be disappointed.

There are parts that will make you laugh, so I would save the money on the movie and wait for the rental. 

Drive – um…yeah… to the “Meh” file!

You think a movie named Drive would actually have a lot more driving in it, wouldn’t ya? Ryan Gosling plays a Hollywood stunt driver who works on the side as a wheelman for hire. His big thing is that he gives you five minutes, to complete whatever it is you’re doing, and then he’s gone, but for that five minutes he’s all yours. Whatever that’s supposed to mean, because he still has to drive you to where the arranged drop off point is, so apparently five minutes is all you get, and the time to drive you to where ever.

The opening scene really excited me. I thought “Hell, if they keep this up, this is going to be on damn good movie.” Then the rest of the movie happened. I was expecting a kind of Transporter deal, bad ass car driving skills, a lot of chase scenes, maybe some stunts I’d be questioning whether or not they could really be done, and then the rest of the movie happened.

Irene (Carey Mulligan) is the rather plain mom who lives a few apartments down. She has a son whose daddy is in prison. Gosling eventually warms up to her and the kid, there are some romantic moments, and some really uncomfortable silences that I think were intended. They may have been added to illustrate the blossoming romance, but I didn’t take it that way.

The Driver’s (Gosling, since he really had no name) friend Shannon (Bryan Cranston) is a disabled ex-stuntman who gets the Driver his gigs both legal and not.  Bernie Rose (Albert Brooks) and Nino (Ron Pearlman) were the only diamonds in this rough as they played the big local crime lords who are dabbling into enter the world of NASCAR with the Driver and Shannon.

As most movies goes, the legit and normal life gets crushed when daddy gets out of prison and wants to be a real father figure to the girl down the hall’s kid. Old habits die hard when daddy needs to pull a heist to get some thugs off his back from his bad times in the big house. Enter new neighbor and wife’s new fling, the Driver, to help out. It all goes bad, as most mafia type plots go, and the Driver is left to get vengeance upon afore mentioned crime lords. Ok, back to the car by now right? Yeah, but nothing fantastic or even close to being interesting as the first scene. Then the movie ends. I don’t know why Hollywood is all about the tragic endings. It would seem that throwing in the occasional fade to main character, girl, and boy on a beach in Jamaica is too farfetched. No, we have to see everyone miserable in the end and left wondering what will happen now.

I love that the first words I heard from a viewer behind me were “You still owe me a movie” to the man she was with and that about summed it up for me too. I know somewhere, other reviewers are raving about some theatre tribute, or acting excellence, and I know others have rated the movie pretty high. All I can say is that if you’re going to lead people on with a movie called “Drive,” you had better put a bunch of car stunts and chase scenes in it, otherwise it’s just “Dull.”    

Spartacus is dead. RIP Andy Whitfield

I was very surprised to find out that Andy Whitfield, the original star of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, died of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in his home country of Australia yesterday. He was 39, survived by his wife and two children. He found out in 2010 that he had lymphocyte cancer and began immediate treatment in New Zealand. He was given a high likelihood of recovery. In June 2010, Andy was declared “cancer-free” by his physicians and planned to return to the role. In September Whitfield’s cancer recurred aggressively, and under the advice of his doctors he immediately began treatment again.

For me, a 42 year old of average health, maybe a little more around the waist than I should… ok.. Maybe a lot more, this was major downer. If you’ve ever seen Spartacus, you know this man was in top physical conditioning. (I’m really looking differently at the YMCA work out tonight now.) He had money, a happy family, he was working, and he was stricken.

Say what you want about the series, it was done very well, and definitely captured the imagination in a very sexy and action filled way. The problem I had with the series was, when it started, I didn’t have Stars, and then had to play catch-up online. Then when I started Stars, it seemed to take forever for the next episode to come out.

For the most part, you really hated the bad guys, and really rooted for the good ones, and when the bad ones bit the dust, you (well at least I did) had a sense of happiness that karma finally caught up to them. The second season was going to be a prequel to the first, so Whitfield really had a small part, and the series won’t be too adversely affected.

I was actually looking forward to seeing him in some movies, maybe Gladiator types, or Van Damme types, but it shall never be. Instead, we see someone struck down in the prime, and that should give us all a moment to reflect on our own lives. We may be struggling every day to get the body, job, fame, fortune, or life we want, but we should maybe take some time for us, and for our families. 

Ghost of Girlfriends Past - 2009 - Hugh Hefner should be so lucky.

Maybe I just have a man-crush on Matthew McConaughey, but I haven’t seen a movie he’s starred in yet that I didn’t like and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is no different. McConaughey plays his usual part as hunky bachelor who accidentally finds love using his cocky and witty banter in this Christmas Carol twist.

Connor Mead (McConaughey) is a photographer and infamous womanizer and makes no excuses about it. He treats women like toys to be romanced, bedded, and tossed away (you know, like how every man fantasizes about but doesn’t have the balls to follow). After all, he’s just following in in Uncle Wayne’s (Michael Douglas) footsteps. Uncle Wayne, now dead, would have been proud in his nephew “Dutch,” and says so in a ghostly visit, but there’s a problem. Even such a lascivious lifestyle as he had led, will leave you empty and lonely in death, a fate Connor does not want to behold.

Connor comes to Uncle Wayne’s estate to be the best man at his younger brother Paul’s (Breckin Meyer) wedding to Sandra Volkom (Lacey Chabert). As you can imagine, Connor is not thrilled with the idea of marriage, and says so, much to the dislike of the wedding guests, and one very disgruntled Jenny Perotti (Jennifer Garner), a former girlfriend and childhood sweetheart who is the wedding planner.

Uncle Wayne has arranged for three ghosts to visit Connor in an attempt to steer him in the right direction, and provide some entertainment for him. Girls from Connor’s past, present, and future will enlightened him and make him feel emotions he has buried long ago. We see the young love between Connor and Jenny grow, and thanks to missed opportunities, fizzle. We also see the loyalty Paul has for his brother unto the lonely funeral service for Connor himself.

The predictable, yet enjoyable conversion of Connor and his rekindling romance with Jenny ensue as Connor needs to play an essential part in saving the wedding from never happening, some the fault of Connor, but mostly not of his doing.

This movie scores points on the wife “mushiness meter,” and you can expect the revelations of Connor to strike a chord in your movie partner, mainly because with as much as a jerk he is, you’re issues seem much more forgivable. If you’re in the mood for a happy ending (movie wise), and want to see love triumph, catch this movie on DVD on On Demand. It’s worth a look.   

Speaking of look, Anne Archer, who plays the mother of the bride, seems to be aging very well. Wonder if she’s looking for a boy toy with a pot belly? 

Retro-review: Silent Running -1972 - The "Meh File"

I was motivated to watch this movie through some Facebook comments made to a robot/android picture. A friend had remarked that the “drones from Silent Running are there.” I had not recognized the robots and being the geek that I am, had to remedy the situation.

The Drones are named Dewey (Drone 1) and Huey (Drone 2) which become more human-like after their operator Freeman Lowell (Bruce Dern) did some modifications to them. In a futuristic world, there is no more plant life on earth. No trees, no plants, no weeds, and apparently no women…well at least on the space ship. A team of four men pilot a huge space terrarium through space. Each ship holds six domes containing trees, flowers, fruits, vegetables, small animals and birds, and water falls (no nuts, because they’re flying the ship.)

The gist of the movie is that a few ships were commissioned from American Airlines (I noticed the large logo on the ships) to fly about until such time as Earth is ready to replant the greenery. People are currently enjoying synthetic food (and apparently air which is never addressed) and really see no reason for plants. Except for Freeman.

Dern has creeped me out in many other movies, and this one is no different. Do you have anyone who just gives you the “willies?” Well Dern is mine. When the command decides the fleet has been goofing off in space long enough, they give orders to blow up the domes with nuclear charges, and return the ships to Earth to be used for other things. The three other men (who are non-consequential and thus not named here) are happy to be finally going home, but for the druid like Freeman, life has now been rendered worthless since it was he who was solely in charge of all the agriculture on the Valley Forge ship.

What does creepy man do? He freaks out as they start jettisoning the domes, and kills the rest of the crew. Then he fakes a nuclear accident on the ship and hides the Valley Forge on the dark side of Saturn. That’s where the weird 2001: A Space Odyssey feel begins, and no wonder, it’s directed by Douglas Trumbull, who was the special effects supervisor on 2001. The movie theme becomes: “One guy alone in space trying to teach Huey and Dewey how to play poker, having a good ol’ time, until the plants start dying.” What could be happening? Life was so good, I was such a fool, as I imagine Freeman felt. I hope the many people who have seen this film, realized there is no Sun behind Saturn, and I bet they realized it earlier than my fair space guy. I know I did.

They portray the drones as human like, feeling pain, sorrow (at the loss of Drone 3 early in the movie), guilt, and concern, especially when Freeman runs into Dewey while racing about on a really cool ATV. The movie ends with the fleet finally finding them in their heroic “never leave anyone behind” search. Freeman realizing his butt was toast, and launches the Huey, working drone, into space inside the last dome (now with sunlamps powered by some mysterious source.) Then he blows himself, and the injured drone up. Yep… that’s as good as it gets. So many unanswered questions… like how the hell did a human walk around in the really odd shaped drone suits? Watch it if you want to say you did, fake it by quoting my review, but it was free on Netlfix and worth every penny.

Take it and make it: My kind of alien movie.

If a movie starts to drag on, my mind wanders, then if the movie ends poorly, my mind likes to think of alternate endings. I’ve always wanted to put my ideas out there for movies. Get some feedback, and maybe help modify movies the way we WANT them to be. So I’ve made up “Take it and make it.” Any movie producer, screenwriter is welcome to the idea. Just mention me (or us) in the movie and let us have tickets to see it. Got a Deal? 

I’m really kind of irritated with many of the Science Fiction alien invasion movies that have been created throughout the years. I understand the m.o. (modus operandi). Humans are living their regular lives, a big force of aliens comes to town, usually hovering above our large cities. We send our military to “negotiate” which never works out. Seriously, we make one alien movie, and now we think flashing lights at them will make them understand us? Here’s a clue: If they want to contact us, they will send a representative, ok? If they sit inside their ship all “Billy Bad-ass” they’re going to attack.

We usually can’t beat their technology (obviously because they have a fricken space ship and we, as of yet, don’t). We get our asses kicked for a while until we find one tiny little flaw, take advantage of it, and get our revenge all being better humans for it realizing that our little differences on Earth are pretty petty when aliens come for our asses.

Here’s the idea. Aliens come, as they always do, and they find out that they really screwed up. Their space flight technology kicks butt, but their weapons suck. It can turn out their weapons are like Tasers to us. They hurt a bit, but if you’re wearing a thick jacket, it’s not going to hurt so badly. Their invasion goes south right off the bat, and we being the “loving” humans we are, duplicate their space flight technology, rig a few space aircraft carriers with it, and go and invade their home planet. It’s on now space men!

The plot can go one to say that humans start to enslave the aliens, do the nasty stuff our dictators on Earth usually do. Big corporations use the alien planet to make money, etc. you know, pretty much how third world countries are treated today. (I know, big moan, sounds like I’m preaching right?) Now we get a group of humans who think that isn’t a good way to treat people or aliens. They can steal some of the technology and form a rebellion on both planets. Humans fighting alongside of the enslaved alien races to better both worlds using a combination of their and our technology. Talk about a sequel generating idea.

If they can do the special effects well, I think they’ve got a hit. Need more? Ok…. Um…they cure cancer and HIV….and erectile dysfunction… now everyone has a tie in…right?