Battleship ~ Don't think about it... just watch!

When I saw the trailer and heard that the movie is based on the Hasbro game, I wondered how they were going to pull this movie off. Alien crafts against our own Navy, we are surely on the short end of the stick here. Then I found out Rihanna was going to play a part of action hero girl, and I became more skeptical of the movie.

I knew Liam Neeson (Admiral Shane) and Taylor Kitsch (Lt. Hopper) were also in the movie, so I was hoping the movie would pan out, and it does. Alexander Skarsgard, of True Blood fame, plays Hopper’s older more mature and more successful brother, so those of you with a crush on him will get a fix.

The movie is pretty good if you throw away some of the more unbelievable parts I’ll be describing later. No sense ruining the movie for those who want to see it, right? The action scenes are fun, the patriotic vibe for our wounded soldiers, naval personnel, and veterans adds a nice flair to the movie, and the “overcoming tremendous odds” theme really work for the film.  That being said, let’s dive in.

Alex Hooper is a loser. He can’t motivate himself, he has no drive, and he has no direction. He falls for a girl and gets into trouble, his Navy-brother bails him out, and pretty much makes him join the service. Let’s ignore the fact, that if you joined the Navy, had a bad record, no college, and were a waste of space, you wouldn’t be placed as an officer on a destroyer under the command of your brother, dating the Admiral’s hot daughter whom you fell for before you joined.

Aliens arrive on Earth to set up a base around Hawaii, test our defenses, and pretty much kick our butt with their technology. Now, unfortunately our naval fleet is out on an exercise in the middle of the ocean, and when the aliens establish their base we have three ships inside their force field in which to save the world. I told you it was a bit “fantastical.” The aliens destroy two of the three ships with missiles looking peculiarly like the pegs of the old Battleship game, the take out the last boat commander putting Hopper in charge.

For some reason the aliens can’t see us, because even though they come from a similar planet, they have lizard eyes which means the sun is too bright for them or something like that. The aliens are using our own communications to call in the rest of the alien invasion force, and the only one that can stop them is the destroyer John Paul Jones whose captains have figured out a way to attack the aliens using buoys and firing missiles on a grid similar to the board game. Still with me?

We’ve made it this far right? Oh no, the destroyer get destroyed and we have less than a few hours to stop them, we don’t have anything left but a decommissioned battleship and the veterans who use to work on it. The movie gives you a shot of “Patriotism” and we’re off to kick some alien buttocks!

“Oh brother, someone is gonna kiss the donkey,” does not even come close to describing the fight that will ensue.

All that being said, if you can put logic away for two hours, the movie is fast paced, fun, and worth a look just for you people who have played and love the game. You can even get past Rihanna as a tough Navy gal.