Dana (Kristen Connolly) the virgin, Curt (Chris Hemsworth)
the athlete, Jules (Anna Hitchison) the whore, Marty (Fran Kranz) the fool, and
Holden (Jesse Williams) the scholar all
head out into the boonies for a weekend of fun and fornication, but it turns
out they are pawns in a much bigger scheme. I wish I was making this up.
This movie rips off so many other movies it’s not funny. It
has a Deliverance weirdo at the gas station, Evil Dead’s cabin with creepy
cellar, Hellraiser like puzzle, and The Ring ghost in other scenes. The plot of
the movie is that the “Ancient Ones” are sealed beneath the earth (like Wrath
of the Titans) and to be placated, a sacrifice must be made each time. The
victims must suffer then die, and the Ancient Ones will stay underground.
So
this government group ensures that a very elaborate and painful death await the
victims. Then they force the kids into the behavior they need for the sacrifice
to work in a large Hollywood studio like military complex.
The hero of the movie for me was Marty, the dope smoking
conspiracy theorist. If not for his enjoyable rants and acting (similar to
Shaggy on Scooby doo) I would be adamantly against anyone going to see this
movie. It’s definitely a rental view. Don’t waste your money on a theater
ticket for this one.
There’s just too many stupid things that make this movie
less entertaining and more annoying.
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